I AM TIRED!!!

A soft life confession from someone who’s tired of being strong

Whew!!!

I almost didn’t write today.

Like… I almost did not show up at all. I almost ghosted my own consistency streak like those people that say “I’m on my way” when they’re still in the bathroom.

And the annoying part is that my reason is very valid. Very, very valid.

But unfortunately or should I say fortunately, this is a process I promised myself I would commit to, and I intend to keep showing up—so help me God. Because if I stop today, tomorrow will be easier to stop. And before you know it, I’ll start writing “I’ll bounce back” like it’s a New Year resolution.

So yes. I dragged myself here. Not because I’m strong, but because I’m trying.

Now, you may ask… why did you almost not write?

What could possibly be the reason?

Did something happen?

Was it heartbreak?

Was it spiritual warfare?

Was it village people?

No. It’s something simple, yet complex—at least to me.

I’m tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, this one is deeper.

This is the type of tiredness that enters your bloodstream and starts negotiating with your whole body system. The type that makes you look at your bed and feel like your bed is calling you into ministry.

See, I’m tired like NEPA after giving light for two hours straight.

I’m tired like someone that has been saying “I’ll rest this weekend” since January.

I’m tired like a phone on 3% that still wants to open Instagram.

And the worst part? Even sleep is not enough.

Because it’s not just physical tiredness. It’s mental, emotional, social. Everything!

I want to unplug. I want quietness. I want solitude.

I want to be alone with myself and my thoughts and not hear “how far?” from anybody for at least 72 hours.

And it’s not even like I’m unhappy. If there’s one thing I’ve had going for me this year—and something I’ve been constantly declaring—it’s my joy. So no, that’s not the issue.

I’m just… exhausted. Like my soul has been doing overtime.

So, during the Easter celebration, I had told myself that I would travel. Go and hang out with my friends outside the state I’m in.

And normally, I love my friends. I truly do. Sometimes, hanging out with them does a whole lot of good to my body and soul. It refreshes me. It reminds me that life is not only bills and responsibilities.

But this time? This time wasn’t giving.

As the day got closer for me to travel, something strange started happening. My excitement started reducing, gradually.

At first, I was still hyped. I was already imagining the laughter, the gist, the pictures, the unnecessary enjoyment.

But then reality started knocking. Because travel is not just travel.

Travel means: Packing, Planning, Spending, Moving, Smiling, Being social, Answering “what’s up?” Dressing up, Performing happiness .

And my body was like… “Sister, rest.”

My spirit man sighed.

I remembered I would have to wake up early. My soul started leaving my body small-small.

I imagined myself on the road for hours. And I said, ah.

So what did I do? I stocked up my house like I was preparing for the apocalypse.

I entered the market like someone that had been told “this is your last chance to eat good food.” Then I came home and shut my door to the outside world.

No unnecessary movement.

No “let me branch here.”

No “let me just greet this person.”

I locked myself inside my house and became a responsible hermit.

I even lined up activities for myself like I was planning a mini retreat.

I attended my church’s convention online, watched movies, slept, cooked, ate, slept again, woke up, ate again, watched another movie, slept again.

The best part, it was fun. I won’t lie. I enjoyed myself with my full chest.

But the break still felt short

Don’t get me wrong, it was good but it still felt short.

Like when you finally rest and your body says, “Thank you… but I need more.”

It was like pouring water into a bucket that has tiny holes. You pour and pour and pour, and it’s refreshing, but it’s not filling.

The thing is, sometimes the issue isn’t that you didn’t rest — it’s that you’ve been tired for far too long. You’ve been pushing for too long.

You’ve been stretching yourself for too long.

So when you finally pause, your body doesn’t just need one weekend, it needs recovery.

And recovery is not always quick.

So What Do You Do When You Feel Like This? 

Because I know I’m not the only one.

Some of us are tired and we don’t even realize it. We just assume we’re being lazy. We think we’re being unserious. We think we need to “snap out of it.”

But sometimes, it’s not laziness at all—your body is simply warning you.

So what do you do when you find yourself in a situation like mine?

Here are a few things I’m learning (and trying) to do: 

1. Listen to Your Body Before It Embarrasses You 

Because if you refuse to rest, your body will force you to rest and it will not ask for your permission.

One day, you’ll just wake up and your body will say, “My dear, I have resigned.”

Sometimes, rest is not optional, it is wisdom.

2. Unplug Without Explaining Yourself 

Not every season requires availability.

Not every season requires you to be reachable.

Sometimes you just need to disappear small.

Not permanently, just temporarily. And you don’t have to start writing long apology messages like:

“Hi guys, I’m so sorry I’ve not been responding…” 

No.

Rest is not a crime.

If resting is a crime, then arrest me.

3. Plan Rest Like You Plan Work 

Some people schedule meetings but they don’t schedule rest.

They schedule appointments but they don’t schedule peace. And then they wonder why they’re always tired.

Rest is not something you do when you’re done. Rest is something you do so you don’t break down.

4. Stop Waiting for Everything to Finish 

This one is my biggest lesson.

Because I’m the type of person that doesn’t like work hanging over my head. I want to clear everything first, then rest.

But I have discovered something, work will always come. There will always be something to do.

If you wait until everything is sorted before you rest, you will rest in heaven.

You know that slang people say—adulthood is a scam. As soon as you finish one thing, another one shows up.

Work is like WhatsApp messages. You reply one, another one comes.

You clear your to-do list, and your life says:

“Congratulations. Here is another list.” 

5. Create Mini Retreats 

Not every rest has to be a vacation.

Sometimes, rest is: turning off notifications, eating good food, sleeping early, sitting down quietly, reducing social media, spending time with God, reading something light, staying away from stress.

Even if it’s just one day.

Sometimes, one day of intentional rest can reset your whole week.

6. Learn to Say No Without Guilt 

Some of us are tired because we don’t know how to say no.

We attend everything.

We answer every call.

We show up for everybody.

And then we start resenting everybody. But boundaries are not wickedness, boundaries are self-respect.

You can love people and still choose peace.

7. Take Care of Your Mind, Not Just Your Body 

Because sometimes your body is fine, but your mind is tired.

Your mind is overloaded, too much information, too much noise, too many opinions, too many expectations.

Sometimes you need to rest your mind by reducing input.

Less scrolling.

Less comparing.

Less consuming.

Sometimes you need quietness more than you need sleep.

My New Rule: I Will Rest With My Full Chest 

So yes. I have decided that I will steal time for myself, because nobody is going to give it to me.

Life will not tap you and say, “Sorry, please take a break.” No! Life will continue moving.

Bills will continue billing.

Work will continue working.

Responsibilities will continue to respawn like game levels.

So I will steal time for myself.

I will rest with my full chest.

I will unplug with boldness.

I will not feel guilty.

I will not over-explain.

I will disappear small and come back when I can.

Because the world might not wait…

…but I will rejoin when I’m ready.

The truth is… we can’t pour from empty, and this is not even about being soft. It’s about being wise.

Because when you are constantly drained, you become: easily irritated, emotionally unstable, inconsistent, unproductive, bitter, spiritually dry. And you’ll start snapping at people that don’t deserve it.

You’ll start making decisions from exhaustion, you’ll start losing joy.

And the scary part? You might even start blaming people for what is actually your lack of rest.

So let me ask you… what would you do in this situation?

Would you travel?

Would you stay home?

Would you unplug?

Would you rest?

Or are you one of those people that will still force yourself to attend everything, just to prove that you’re strong?

Tell me… how do you handle seasons like this?

Do you rest?

Or do you just continue pushing until your body humbles you publicly?