…..you’re just not accountable.
One of the things that irks me the most as an adult is how difficult it is for some people to take responsibility.
If there’s one thing adulthood hands every one of us, it is free will.
The free will to become. The free will to remain the same. The free will to say yes. The free will to say no.
Just that—free will.
You don’t get to choose every circumstance life throws at you, but you do get to choose how you respond to it.
Yet, somehow, you’ll meet adults who can’t even take responsibility for how their day went, talk less of the direction their lives are headed.
Instead, it’s a constant search for someone else to blame.
Their parents. Their siblings. Society. The government. The economy. Their village people.
And, of course…
The devil.
At this point, I genuinely think the devil would have quite an interesting defense if he were ever given the chance to speak for himself.
Because sometimes, we blame him for things he probably wasn’t even involved in.
I’ve simply gotten to the point where I tell people:
Never blame the devil for what you willingly did, take responsibility.
That sentence may sound harsh, but it is incredibly freeing.
A friend of mine once said something that has stayed with me for years:
“I’ll always tell the truth about what I did to contribute to a situation. It’s not like you’ll beat me. We’ll talk about it, work through it, and even if the truth hurts, I won’t lie just to escape responsibility. You can’t beat me.”
I laughed when I heard this.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how rare that mindset is.
Most people would rather protect their image than protect their character.
They would rather explain away their mistakes than admit them.
Because admitting fault feels uncomfortable, it bruises the ego. It strips away the illusion that we’re always right.
So why do people find it so difficult to take responsibility?
Perhaps because blaming someone else is easier than confronting ourselves.
Sometimes it’s pride.
Sometimes it’s fear.
Sometimes it’s the shame of admitting, “I made that decision.”
Other times, it’s because blame offers temporary relief. If someone else caused my problem, then someone else is responsible for fixing it too.
The problem is that blame may make you feel better for a moment, but it never makes your life better.
Responsibility does.
I’ve always said this:
There comes a stage in your life where constantly blaming your parents, society, your upbringing, your circumstances or even the devil, for where you are simply isn’t the vibe you think it is.
Yes, those things may have played a role.
Yes, they may have wounded you.
Yes, they may have delayed you.
No one is denying that.
But eventually, one question becomes unavoidable:
What have you done about it?
Because after a while, people stop asking what happened to you. They start asking what you’re doing with what happened.
There was a cause.
Now, what is your response?
What choices are you making today?
What habits are you building?
What conversations are you avoiding?
What responsibilities are you refusing to own?
Healing may not be your fault but healing eventually becomes your responsibility.
Growth is.
Change is.
And so is repentance.
Now, let’s talk about the devil for a second.
Yes, spiritual warfare is real.
Yes, temptation is real.
Yes, Scripture makes it clear that the enemy seeks to deceive and destroy.
But temptation is not the same thing as force.
After all, it takes two to tango.
The devil can tempt, he cannot choose for you.
At some point, your own “yes” becomes part of the story. And that’s the part many people conveniently leave out.
So how do we become people who take responsibility instead of shifting blame?
First, tell yourself the truth, even when it hurts. Your growth begins where those excuses end.
Second, separate the cause from your response. Something may have happened to you, but what you do next is still your responsibility.
Third, stop asking, “Whose fault is this?” and start asking, “What can I do from here?” The difference here is that, one question keeps you trapped; the other moves you forward.
Fourth, own your decisions. Even the bad ones. You cannot change what you refuse to acknowledge.
Finally, stop using the devil as a convenient explanation for every poor choice. Pray. Resist temptation. Depend on God. But also recognize that obedience is a decision you make daily.
The beautiful thing about responsibility is that it isn’t condemnation, it’s freedom.
Because the day you admit, “I played a part in this,” is also the day you realize, “I can play a part in changing it.”
And that is far more empowering than spending your life looking for someone else to blame.
