Recently, I was driving a guest from a relative’s house back to Lagos. My daughter, Pearl, was in the car, and what started as casual conversation turned into one of the most profound lessons on faith I’ve encountered in years.
The guest, a well-meaning Christian woman, engaged Pearl in conversation about siblings. She encouraged my daughter to pray, specifically, to pray fervently and persistently, for God to give her a brother and a sister. “Pray every day,” she said. “Remind God about it. That’s what we Christians do. When God knows you’re serious, that’s when He acts.”
My daughter’s response stopped me cold.
“Why do I need to remind God?” she asked. “He already told me I would have a brother and a sister. I believe Him. He will do it. I don’t need to remind Him.”
The Pushback
The woman wasn’t easily convinced. She doubled down: “But you have to pray. If you really want it, you should keep asking. You should be persistent.”
Then she tried a different angle, one that many of us use to teach children about prayer: “If your daddy promised you something, wouldn’t you remind him?”
Without hesitation, Pearl replied: “No. I don’t remind my daddy. If my daddy promised me something, I’m sure he will give it to me.”
The woman turned to me for confirmation. “Is that true?”
I nodded. “Of course. If I tell her I will give her something, she doesn’t have to remind me. It’s my responsibility to fulfil my promise. In our family, we always keep our promises. We’re very careful to make them in the first place because we’re bound to keep them. She doesn’t need to remind me.”
There was a pause. Then the woman said something I’ll remember for a long time:
“Wow. Your dad has built trust with you. And I guess if you relate to your heavenly Father this way, you would transfer that to your relationship with Him. So you just might be right. You don’t need to remind God when He’s already made promises to you.”
My daughter left that conversation assured that her understanding of faith was well-founded. And I left it questioning a lot of what I’d been taught about prayer.
What We’ve Been Taught About Prayer
For many of us, the dominant narrative about prayer sounds something like this:
- Pray persistently
- Remind God of His promises
- Show Him you’re serious by bringing it up repeatedly
- If you don’t keep asking, maybe you don’t really want it
- God responds to fervency and repetition
We quote scriptures about the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8) and tell people to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We emphasise that faith requires action, and that action often looks like relentless petitioning.
But here’s what my daughter helped me see: there’s a difference between persistent prayer and perpetual reminders.
The Father Who Keeps His Promises
When Pearl said, “I don’t remind my daddy,” she wasn’t being passive or lackadaisical. She was demonstrating trust.
In our home, we’ve built a culture where promises are sacred. When I tell my daughter I will do something, she can rest in that assurance. She doesn’t need to nag me, manipulate me, or convince me. I’ve already committed.
In fact, I’ve told her before: “If you mention it one more time, I won’t fulfil that promise anymore.” Not because I’m harsh, but because her reminders suggest she doesn’t trust my word. The promise was made. There’s a time for it. It may not be immediate, but it’s certain.
And if that’s true of me, an imperfect, fallible human father, how much more should it be true of God?
What If God Doesn’t Need Reminders?
Here’s the question Pearl’s response raised for me: What if God finds our constant reminders irritating rather than impressive?
What if, when He makes a promise, whether in Scripture or through personal revelation, our response should be thanksgiving, not repeated petitioning?
Think about it this way: When God promised Abraham a son, Abraham didn’t spend the next 25 years waking up every morning saying, “God, remember that son You promised me? Please don’t forget. I really want that son. Did You hear me? A son, God. A son.”
No. Abraham believed God. And “it was credited to him as righteousness” (Genesis 15:6).
Yes, there were moments of doubt. Yes, there were detours (hello, Ishmael). But the essence of Abraham’s faith wasn’t in his ability to remind God; it was in his ability to trust God’s word.
Rethinking Our Prayer Posture
So, what should our prayers look like when God has already made a promise?
I’m learning that perhaps they should sound more like this:
- “Thank You, God, for what You’ve already said You will do.”
- “I’m so grateful that this promise is coming.”
- “I look forward to seeing how this unfolds and how it will bless others.”
- “I trust Your timing, even when it’s not my timing.”
Not manipulation. Not bargaining. Not reminding Him as if He’s forgetful.
Just trust.
But What About Persistent Prayer?
I can already hear the objections: “But Jesus taught about persistent prayer! The widow kept asking the judge until he gave her justice!”
Fair point. But let’s look at that parable more carefully (Luke 18:1-8).
The judge in the story was unjust. He didn’t care about God or people. The widow had to wear him down because he was resistant.
God is not the unjust judge.
Jesus wasn’t teaching us to pester God until He caves. He was teaching us not to lose heart; to remain steadfast in faith even when answers seem delayed. The point wasn’t “Keep reminding God so He doesn’t forget.” The point was “Don’t give up trusting Him just because it’s taking longer than you expected.”
There’s a difference.
What My Daughter Taught Me
Pearl’s simple, unshakeable faith showed me something I’d missed: Faith is not measured by how many times you ask. It’s measured by how deeply you trust.
When God makes a promise, He’s not waiting to see if we’re “serious enough” to keep asking. He’s waiting for the right time to fulfil what He’s already committed to do.
Our job isn’t to remind Him. Our job is to believe Him.
And perhaps, just perhaps, thanksgiving is the highest form of faith. Not as a manipulative tactic to speed things up, but as a genuine response to a trustworthy Father who always keeps His word.
A Final Thought
I’m genuinely curious: Is my daughter right?
Is the right posture towards God’s promises one of patient trust and thanksgiving rather than persistent reminders?
Or is there something essential about repetition and fervency that I’m missing?
What if the way we pray reveals what we actually believe about God’s character? If we constantly remind Him, perhaps we believe He’s forgetful. If we manipulate Him with our words, perhaps we believe He’s withholding. But if we thank Him in advance, we’re declaring: I know You. I trust You. Your word is enough.
I’m still processing this. But one thing is clear: Sometimes our children teach us more about faith than all the sermons we’ve ever heard.
